I want to see God…
February 28th, 2007
I find a few things slightly tragic and ironic at the same time this morning. It is frustrating to me that I have been too busy with my leadership responsibilities over the past few days to write about Matt. 5:8 and the promise of Jesus to the pure in heart. I find it ironic that I was in tears in Allen Hood’s office yesterday over the tension of being given more leadership while simultaneously yearning for more time to pray, fast, and go deep in the word. I find it tragic that my leadership responsibilities make it very difficult for me to do an extended fast that is not a corporate one. I find myself in a great tension clinging to hope that desire and longing “counts” before God as I struggle to navigate laying hold of a true life of prayer and not simply the reputation of having one. I want to have what Jesus invited me to have - a pure heart. Pure desires. A longing for the only thing that matters - intimacy with God.
Jesus made, to the “great multitudes” that had gathered to Him on that incredible day on the front end of His earthly ministry, an audacious promise. Really, the promise Jesus made to those who labored to cultivate a pure heart cannot truly be appreciated by a modern audience. The Jewish audience that had come from the southern boundaries of modern Turkey to the borders of Egypt were understandably stunned at His teaching. I, personally, find it shocking that the multitudes were “astonished”, as Matthew says (Matt. 7:28-29), at His teaching and His authority. Why am I shocked? Because Matthew tells us that they gathered to Him in the first place because of His fame that had spread throughout the region related to Hid unprecedented displays of power to heal and deliver the sick and tormented.
He healed “all kinds” of sickness and “all kinds” of disease among the people. (Matt. 4:23) Yet they saved their “astonishment” for His teaching. Imagine laying hands on someone and dramatically healing them, only to have them be astonished more by your sermon afterwards. That, in my opinion, is authority in teaching. It is also the point of revival and signs and wonders - not that we would pursue them as an end unto themselves, but that they would serve as a gateway to bring people into stunning truth and propel them into a rich and vibrant relationship with the living God. In many ways, the whole of Jesus sermon and ministry was about this incredible promise found in the beatitudes.
What was so stunning about the promise?
Simply this: Jesus said that the pure in heart would see God. He did not put a qualifier on it. He did not add, “…after the resurrection.” For the Jew (and for the theologically-minded), this promise then was unthinkable. God Himself had said to Moses in Exodus 33:20 that “You cannot see My face; for no man shall see Me, and live.” How to reconcile this divine paradox? Was Jesus contradicting the Father? Now we can understand a bit better the astonishment of the Jews and the authority (and audacity) of Jesus to promise such a thing. For we know, as One who only did what He saw the Father doing, that the Father Himself is the initiator of the invitation and promise. If I CAN see God, than I want to pursue the possibility in THIS life. How far will He let me go in pursuing Him?
This is the essence of “pure in heart”. To be pure in heart is more than being clean in heart. To be pure in heart is to be of singular desire, to be engaged in wholehearted pursuit. To be pure in heart is to want nothing more or less than God Himself. God will give you the desire of your heart - He longs to give you your exceedingly great reward. That He desires to give me the absolute best reward possible is the reason that He Himself is the reward. It is not enough, however, to set this promise aside as an esoteric future reality relegated to “someday”. The measure to which you desire God in your life now is the measure to which you can have God in your life now.
“Hungering and thirsting for righteousness” is about, in part, God transforming our desires and what we hunger for to line up with His desires. The transformation of our desires has, in the plans of God, a destination, a place He longs to take us in the journey of love and what we cultivate in our hearts. The end of the journey is a complete and total, all-consuming desire for God Himself and nothing else. No competing desires, no love for the things of this life, and no friendship with this world. What a destination! This is where I want to go and what I want my life to be about, with all of my heart. I want to be truly abandoned and fully given. I want this and pursue this in the hopes that this audacious promise could somehow be true - that I might, in my life, see God.
I want to see Him as John did in Revelation 4. I want to see Him as Paul did in Acts 9. I want to see Him as Daniel did in Daniel 7. I want to see Him as Ezekiel did in Ezekiel 1. I want to see Him as Isaiah did in Isaiah 6. I want to see Him as Moses did in Exodus 33. All of these men saw God before they died, before they were resurrected, and before they were glorified. I could add many more to this list. Why not me? Why can’t I take the promise of Jesus seriously and make my life’s pursuit, my “life’s work” as it were, the labor of longing, cultivating, and pursuing - whose payoff is the possibility of seeing God with my eyes and being marked in my heart forever?
So it is that I weep at times in regards to the responsibilities the Lord gives me. I trust His leadership. I love His ways. I will be faithful and diligent (in my weakness) and labor daily to maximize the talents He has given me to establish a kingdom value system in whatever it is I put my hands to. Yet I cannot shut off the yearning within me. I cannot ignore the pain of my heart, and the secret fear that grips me - what if God, in His perfect leadership, is raising me up as an example to many, an example of how easy it is to get thrown off course? What if part of my purpose is to teach the generation that follows how hard it is and how narrow the way is? There is more of a price to be paid. There is more of a cost for me to lay hold of. There is a deeper and more intense place of holiness I must yet find by grace.
I am trembling, but hungry. I am weak, but resolved within myself. I am carnal, immature, and foolish. Yet I have this advantage - by grace I see the way ahead, and the destination that is alive as the dream of my heart. I know what I long for, more than money, comfort, honor, fame, and even the power and blessing of God. I know what I want my life to be about, and I will fight the good fight with the best of my strength to lay hold of something more than flowery prayer language and the ability to teach a few scripture passages. I want God.
One thing I desire, that will I seek…
David
Entry Filed under: bible, noteworthy posts, sermon on the mount
16 Comments Add your own
1. Cathy | February 28th, 2007 at 9:46 am
Ah, the endless struggle of responsibility vs. the longing of the heart. I’m so sure many people will really be able to relate to your post.
When we’re fortunate enough to be in a position of being a sheep and just hiding in the crowd, getting fed, praying, fasting, and loving God without any responsibility it feels like Heaven - but also feel like we should be doing more.
When we end up with many responsibilities, it becomes overwhelming at times and our hearts end up desiring for the opposite.
I’m fortunate enough to be one of the “sheep” right now, but that will end someday and I pray really hard that God prepares me for the time that is ahead and I’ll be struggling once again with these issues.
You’re not alone, David. You desire, you seek and you will see Him. Hang in there. This is one of the reasons we’re called to pray for those in authority, and we’ll pray for you out here.
2. Dave Gray | February 28th, 2007 at 10:36 am
Rhetorical: Why is there so much conflict over the pulls on your time which are contrary to the desires of your heart? The story of Mary and Martha clarifies a lot.
3. Jeff | February 28th, 2007 at 10:55 am
Thanks for this post. This series has been wonderful for me.
Through some not-very-fun circumstances, several leadership responsibilities were taken away from me a few months ago. The Lord pretty quickly showed me that it was a blessing though, for precisely the reason you describe.
Since that time I’ve been praying the Methodist Covenant Prayer every morning. I love that prayer, but I almost wince whenever I come to the line “Let me be exalted for Thee, or brought low for Thee”… I want to add, “Just don’t let me be exalted too soon!”
Fortunately, as you say, His leadership is absolutely trustworthy.
4. Derick | February 28th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
David,
Wow, is the first thing that I want to say. I feel so privileged to be in a place and part of a community where the leaders are feeling the same way that I am. I desire so much to see the face of God. David talked about how God drew him into seeking His face. In paslm 27:8. I mean what a more extrodinary offer can be made to man. For God to look upon his life and say to him ‘Seek My Face’. The contradiction or more the collision that David must have felt. I mean he had this history of knowing what the scripture says and how is says if any man sees Gods face he shall surely die. But David was like You told me to so here I am seeking.
I have been challenged as of late to what it really looks like to know God. I just got done reading Corey’s book and am stirred inside. God has issued a challenge and I think it can go for anyone, to take what I am learning here at the base and see it as a reality and not just more head knowledge that never impacts my heart or the world around me.
Well thats my simple thoughts on the subject for now. God Bless.
5. Amanda | February 28th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
This post encouraged me a lot as well. Although I’m only still in the very baby steps of leadership, I feel a little less dumb knowing that I’m not the only one who has felt the tension of what it means to try and juggle it alongside the Ps 27:4 mandate.
I really want to see God. And I really want to hear God. I have felt that burden so much lately, especially in light of some of the words that have come forth and some of the transitions that are just around the corner… it kills me to think of being in the middle of a massive revival, and still not being able to discern the voice of God any better than I do right now. I have been stewing in this sense of urgency that I especially cannot afford to get cold-hearted and complacent now…
6. ben | February 28th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
dave,
That was an awesome post. It sparked a desire in my to have a pure heart and have a heart that seeks after God and God. Thanks for posting all these teachings.
ohh yeah I just got done to listen you teach on God’s zeal for zion it was sweet.
7. nathan wood | February 28th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
I love this post Dave! Blessed are thou oh Sliker when you long for pure desire in HIm, for yours is the deeper prayer life!
8. Jamie Pexa | February 28th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
I understand your fear, but perfect love casts out all fear and you are in heavy pursuit of that perfect love, so really what is there to fear. For God looks at your heart, not your busy life style… He knows your longings… and may you be encouraged to know your words spark an even bigger flame in my heart for this beautiful man Christ Jesus…
9. Dave | February 28th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
Dave,
I don’t really know you, but I’ve been following IHOP from a distance for some years now, so I’ve heard you speak. Thanks for your posts - I’ve enjoyed them quite a bit. In the midst of your pursuit of wholeheartedness, remember to be tender and gentle with yourself. He is more patient than we can know. Keep fervently running, but hang onto having grace for yourself and guarding your heart, for it’s the wellspring of life.
10. Carlos Rivas | March 1st, 2007 at 9:30 am
And so Mr. David, your words, seasoned by the Spirit, continue to penetrate my heart - and cause me to weep. As I labor in the world, and have those who would want me to reach for worldly success, I struggle so because my desire is to attain Him - and yet I know that I must be an example of honoring the authority that God places in our lives. I so appreciate your openness so that I know that my struggle “is common to man”.
God bless you - and know that I pray and believe - that God will send your way those gifted to serve - to administrate, that appointed times of intimacy would be found by you with Him.
11. Joe | March 1st, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Lord I am poor and needy have mercy on me
12. David | March 1st, 2007 at 9:30 pm
Thanks for the encouragement, gentlemen. I hope that I have in turn encouraged you in turn.
-ds
13. JaredDiehl | March 1st, 2007 at 10:17 pm
I feel you on this: that I am still wearing my own shoes, read, orange, green or grey. I haven’t yet entered it to that, what you say and do and see but believe me it is in me…so what I am saying you may never know, but you do know, or else I wouldn’t be dropping you this fancy flow…..until next time(if I come back tomorrow-No, its my off day)
14. JaredDiehl | March 1st, 2007 at 10:20 pm
O yeah, I was easedropping on your class questions yesterday and that one guy asked that ? I would first give him an answer, which you did, then change your answer and say, ‘I change my mind, I would actually punch Tim in the stomach really hard while the whole world is watching….then switch it around and take him out to lunch pretending like it was an accident…
15. David | March 1st, 2007 at 10:51 pm
Ben - that’s a lot of time to spend with me, bro. Maybe too much time , my fo-sheezy.
16. David | March 1st, 2007 at 10:53 pm
Jared - I have no idea what to do with your first comment. And, now that I think of it, I don’t quite know what to do with the second one either.
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